2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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