I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
