how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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