I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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