I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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