You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why didn't you poke me back
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
