i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
