I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
