I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
