He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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