omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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