He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
