You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
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I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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