for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
