but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize