fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
as a side note pls kill me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
