U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
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Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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