Already got asked if we're dating
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
