beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
