she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
