a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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