I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
