Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
