I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
