I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
