thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
