You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
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I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
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So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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