he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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