Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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