goodnight i made you a song goodbye
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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