In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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