you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
