My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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