Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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