Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had sex on a roof
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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