i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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