I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
