before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
