Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize