Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
