just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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