Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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