Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
