Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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