Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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