super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
