i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
