i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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