How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
