i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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