i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
