its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
