sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
