i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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