sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
