You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize